Hate to Love – Forgiveness Flips the Switch!

By: Steve Huston

Even as I sat down to write this article, I heard news of how the FBI broke up yet another plot to assassinate the President of the United States, Donald Trump – a man that many people love to hate. It seems as though hatred is becoming an epidemic in America; many have become extremists, skipping over the middle ground of like and dislike, moving decisively to love or hate without much critical thinking or objectivity over the matter. Rash judgment has begun to rule the day; yet there are still many who cling to rationality and its blessings.

It’s an enigma; we look around and we see kind people who would lend a helping hand to those in trouble, but when it comes to politics or cultural matters, the drop of a name or certain subject matter and these “Dr. Jekylls” can quickly turn into “Mr. Hydes.” Why do some people feel justified in their hatred and even revel in it? How did this nation of once free-thinkers ever opt for intense feeling over critical thinking?

An article by the Epoch Times – What Your Brain Looks Like When You Hate Someone – may help us to make some sense of these things.

In looking for the source of hatred, we’re told that it’s “often rooted in unresolved anger” and that it “often stems from helplessness.” When we view ourselves as victims or feel like we have no say in what’s happening around us, anger can be a natural response for any of us; when it’s not dealt with rationally and objectively, anger can turn to wrath and wrath can turn to hatred.

“The brain’s hate ‘switch’ prioritizes aggressive behavior and negative judgment. Hate selectively deactivates … the area (of the brain) involved in regulating impulsive responses and understanding others’ feelings.” In other words, aggression is given a green light, caution is thrown to the wind, and empathy becomes almost non-existent. That is a recipe for trouble and it turns “the hater irrational … making him fixated on the target.”

Realize it or not, hatred grows until it seeps into other areas of our lives: “Hate self-reinforces. The more you hate, the more your brain is wired to hate—it is like a low-dose poison that quietly erodes empathy.” Hatred changes who we are: “A person is not just unable to empathize with a person’s pain, but becomes numb or even starts feeling good about it.”

We needn’t look any further than Democratic strategist James Carville for an example. In March, Carville went on one of his usual tirades: “I got Trump Derangement Syndrome. I hate the [expletive]. And you know what? I don’t want to get rid of it. I don’t want to get better. I want to get worse. I want to hate him more. I pray to God in heaven, God, rain the righteous reign of Trump Derangement Syndrome on me. Pray for me, Lord. I’m your vessel on this earth. Pray for the people that listen to this. We want more. We want to hate the [another expletive] so much that we can’t see straight.” While not everyone will embrace hate to this extent, when we choose to allow hate to have even partial control over our mind or emotions, we must be painfully aware that Carville’s shameful rant is not outside the realm of possibility for us as well.

The article continues by pointing out the mental and physical health dangers which accompany hatred and finally states: “Hate turns off only when the target is sufficiently distanced or depowered. The challenge is that achieving these outcomes often involves force or aggression.” Such aggression can take the form of physical or emotional violent acts, words spoken at our targeted nemesis, or words used for character assassination.

While I agree with the Epoch Times – “It’s critical to break the hate loop” – I disagree with their conclusion that “to eliminate hate, one must cultivate its opposite: compassion.” The opposite of hate is love; it’s real love that wells compassion up within us. Jesus gave a list of actions/choices that will help to transform us, eliminating the hate within: “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” At the end of what we commonly call The Lord’s Prayer in Matthew 6, we see a positive and a negative promise regarding forgiveness. The apostle Paul at the end of Ephesians 4 tells us to get rid of bitterness, anger, evil speaking (to name a few) and that we instead must forgive.

Mark S. Russell, Jr., in writing the forward to G. Clair Sam’s book Forgiven and Forgiving, states: “…forgiveness is one of the most profound elements marking me as a member of the human race, both in my need of forgiveness as well as my need to extend forgiveness to others. Forgiveness identifies me as a follower of Christ and defines one of my most noble pursuits—to be Christ-like.”

Many struggle with forgiving because they’ve been told that to forgive is to ignore, forget, or excuse the offense. Sometimes they feel that to forgive, one accepts the results of the violation as being okay. G. Clair Sam explains that true forgiveness requires a balance of truth and love, of justice and grace. He uses our salvation as an example of what true forgiveness looks like: “The forgiveness we receive following repentance and faith rest on God’s deep sense of justice, mercy and forgiveness.”

Sam writes, in closing one of his chapters: “‘Forgiveness is a choice you make,’ I’ve instructed my children. ‘If you don’t forgive, it brings death into your life in one form or another. The best way to become forgiving is to pray for the person you need to forgive. Even though it may seem hard at first, once you get into it and find more and more things to pray about, you’ll notice your heart becoming soft toward that person.’”

Hate hurts while love heals. Might each of us, regardless our political and cultural leanings, reject the hate that harms, reaching out to others in love. Love your enemies…Forgiveness flips the switch.

 

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