Fathers Leading Families

By: Steve Huston

Paul, arguably the greatest apostle, speaking to his spiritual son: “But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of…” (2 Tim. 3:14)

Solomon, son of King David – the man after God’s own heart – writes, “My son, hear the instruction of thy father…For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head…” Prov. 1:8-9

Fathers have a hard role to play. Most deal with the demons of their own upbringing and feel the need to bear up under the pressures of society’s expectations. My grandfather and father grew up under the unspoken rule that real men don’t cry and live by some kind of “John Wayne code.” Their grandsons bear the brunt of a culture that expects them to be spineless doormats to be trampled under by feet of feminism or else be accused of “toxic masculinity.” I could “spill much ink” pointing to the history of how we got here and write laments, regarding the end of our culture’s road, but it’s a wiser use of this space to encourage our readers to be more concerned with what God calls men to be – a firm and loving leader of their family, protecting them, training them, and providing for them.

Now, culturally speaking, no one seems to know what a man is, what a woman is, the roles or responsibilities for either of these “ethereal” concepts, and our children are being raised in the midst of very confused and angry people. If we will take seriously the mantle of leadership that God has authoritatively placed upon us and designed us to carry, we will be leading our families through the “valley of the shadow of death,” persecution, and misunderstanding. Regardless, let us lead them fearing “no evil, for God is with us,” leading us. His Word is faithful, stable, and a comfort. The Bible defines a man and a woman; it clearly shows us our different, yet mutually important and complementary, roles to fulfill. Might we example these God-given roles to the next generation.

My dad wasn’t a Christian when I was born, but he was a good man who loved my mother from the time they were children. His father was not a believer, but, my dad, after believing on Jesus and through faithful study of the Bible and application, learned about the “Faith of our fathers living still.” To the best of his ability and through the power of the Spirit, he passed that Biblical faith and knowledge on to his children. My mom had been raised in a Christian home and was a committed helpmeet. Dad highly regarded her and gently led us all. Her opinion was valued but Dad had the final say; God-given responsibility rested on him. They likely never heard of the word “complementarianism,” yet that Biblical concept was worked out in their marriage and in our family. Thank you, Lord, for my dad and mom.

I trust you don’t find this background tedious; I find it beautiful. I am grateful that God’s sovereign hand is capable of taking anyone from any background and work all things “together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Regardless of how we are raised, we can, by God’s grace, own the truths from this great hymn of the faith: “Faith of our fathers, living still, In spite of dungeon, fire, and sword; Oh, how our hearts beat high with joy Whene’er we hear that glorious Word! (Refrain) Faith of our fathers, holy faith! We will be true to thee till death.”

Dads, I’m urging us to Biblical manhood; neither our past nor our culture has to, nor should it, define what our role is. We have been created by Almighty God to live according to His purpose. He’s put each of us in various positions, some of those positions as an authority, at other times submitting to authority. We are called to love our wives and to live at peace with them, submitting to each other in complementarianism. We are to disciple our children, raising them in the fear and admonition of the Lord. Teach them that they have been created in the image of God, as they are, and God makes no mistakes. Remind them, daily, that Christ is their only hope and His Word their only guide. It’s from Christ’s lips that we long to hear, “Well, done.” regardless what men may say.

Fathers, we are Scripturally the head of our homes, yet Christ is our Head. We’re meant to lead with love and, prayerfully, expect that our wife and children will follow. Remembering that our greatest command is to love God with all that we are and to love our neighbor as ourself, I urge you, keep before yourself and your family, with humility, the exceeding sinfulness of sin and the beauty of holiness. I’m so grateful that we aren’t left to our own efforts in this vital task. The Word, the Spirit, and love lend great assistance to avoiding the former and clinging to the latter.

The Bible is an authoritative aid in our battle with sin and call to holiness. It gives divine restraint and keeping power. The psalmist wrote that a young man can cleanse his way by “taking heed thereto according to thy word.” And again, that if we hide God’s Word in our hearts we can be kept from sin.

The Holy Spirit “helpeth our infirmities,” “hath made me free from the law of sin and death,” and “will guide you into all truth.” It’s by God’s grace and the Spirit’s power that we are able to hate sin because we love Christ.

Which brings us to love. “The love of Christ constraineth us.” Praise God, that His grace is greater than man’s great sin.

Yes, we are merely men, but if we are God’s men, let us, by word and example, compel our children to shun sin and cling to Christ and His holiness. By our lives and our leading, may they know who they are in God’s eyes, and might their lives, by God’s grace, reflect this song’s second verse, affecting our nation for good. “Our fathers, chained in prisons dark, Were still in heart and conscience free; How sweet would be their children’s fate, If they, like them, could die for thee! (Refrain) Faith of our fathers, holy faith! We will be true to thee till death.”

 

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