4 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Fought With My Wife

By: American Decency Staff

As a single man, I was cool, calm, and collected. Then I got married.

Before I was married, I had never hit an innocent wall just because I was angry. But you’d be surprised (or, maybe you’re married and you wouldn’t be surprised) at the radical impact close proximity to a person you love can have on you.

My wife is my favorite person on earth.

Marrying her is definitely one of the few intelligent decisions I’ve made in life. But after the bliss of our first year of marriage, things (you know, “things”) hit the fan. Neither of us had ever let anyone so close to the good, the bad and the ugly of our lives. And the discomfort of this newfound intimacy certainly had a way of creating challenging and ‘impassioned’ conversations.

As a result, we would often resort to our popular nightcap, which looked like this:

I would walk out, slamming the door behind me (for dramatic effect). She would crawl under the covers, in tears—but not before setting up her wall of pillows down the middle of the bed, just to remind me, when I do come to sleep, that things are not OK.

Conflict is unavoidable and necessary to any healthy relationship. But anyone who has braved it also knows there’s a difference between unproductive fighting and a healthy resolution of conflict. While the latter is necessary and unavoidable, the former doesn’t help a relationship’s progress—and can take its toll on a marriage.

If you’re a human and married—chances are, you know what I’m talking about. Here are four helpful ideas that have helped me move toward healthy conflict resolution.

And have also saved me from more than a couple nights on the couch.

Read more at http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/4-things-i-wish-i-knew-i-fought-my-wife#6S4OBLyBUGV4lvKp.99

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