Don’t seek secular/godless counselors for deep spiritual issues

By: American Decency Staff

The following little Q&A appeared on the front page of the Detroit Free Press online this morning.  It is short and perpetuates untruth regarding a wife trying to deal with her husband's pornography addiction. Our comments will appear as ADA comments: Here is the Q&A answered by two secularists: “Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an altogether different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers.â€Â Apparently, the Detroit Free Press is republishing this from phillynews.com.  Why would they publish this?  It is an insult to any thinking person who has the capability of discerning the difference between right and wrong. Let’s begin: ***** “QUESTION: I recently discovered that my husband has been watching hardcore porn on his computer. He left it up on the screen and I just happened to see it. I'm completely disgusted with him. I can't even look at him the same way. To me, it's the same as if he cheated. What do you think I should do? ADA COMMENTS: This is a totally valid question. The only difficulty that I have is why in the world is this woman asking Steve and Mia?  Can’t she find someone that lives a Godly faith with years of faithfulness, purity and a reputation for being blameless?  The writer SHOULD be completely disgusted with her husband.  Her hurt feelings and concern are completely valid!  Yes!  She has been cheated on.  Jesus own words state that having lustful thoughts is the same as committing adultery.  [Matthew 5:28] Mia: “Can you let it go? I ask because there's no use trying to get between a man and his porn collection — unless you want to join in on the fun. I know Delaware Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell took a stand in the 1990s against masturbation, but I don't think you're going to be able to stop him. If you get on his case, he'll just go underground with it and do a better job of hiding it. ADA COMMENTS: Pornography is highly addictive.   That is settled ground! A  person addicted seeks harder and harder material to get that “gratification.â€ÂÂ Â  Multitudes come to a place where they act out what they see.  We read about it all the time. Sting operations.  It can be a judge, a doctor, a police officer, a teacher, a pastor, a lawyer.  We read those articles that have become increasingly prevalent and wonder how can a well educated man with such standing sacrifice their name and livelihood and chase after pornography. So Mia, you counsel this heartbroken woman to “just let it go?â€ÂÂ  If she lets it go, it is only going to become more intrusive into his and her life.  If her husband doesn’t stop and get under control and return his heart and affections to his wife she will be living with a man whose sexual life is perverted and he will either destroy himself, her and/or others. ———- Mia continues …. “It's everywhere now — he can watch it on his phone, the Internet or on DVDs, so what are you going to do besides explaining how you feel? If he keeps up his XXX-watching and you want to keep your marriage, you'll have to ignore it. ADA COMMENTS: Though it seems that pornography is everywhere it doesn’t have to be.  There is a whole lot that a man and a woman can do (and must do) to make sure that it isn’t in their lives.  Where a man’s heart (or woman’s heart) is that is where their treasure is.  This pornography struggle is pure and simple:  a spiritual issue.  Many of us who have overcome pornography (including myself) have discovered that with having the power of God in our lives (based upon a living, personal relationship with Christ) we could not have overcome this wicked addiction.  And, it is wicked, damaging and ultimately destructive.  Mia’s answers are woeful and worse than no counsel at all.  I don’t want to be mean spirited but they are very unfortunate counsel!! Steve: “OK, all you men out there, if you've viewed porn on your home computer, raise your hand. Yeah, that's what I thought. ADA COMMENTS: What a lead in for his answer to follow.  Totally irresponsible! Steve continued … “If every wife divorced her husband for viewing porn, marriage would cease to exist in five years. Porn isn't cheating, but it can be addictive and that's where the danger lies. You should talk with your husband about this, but in a nonaccusatory way. Remind him that the real thing is better than the fantasy. Once this gets aired out, I think you'll both feel better about it.â€Â ADA COMMENTS: Porn isn’t cheating?  Usually when you hear a guy talk like this he is a big pornography user – justifying and/or rationalizing his lusting after pornography.   Totally simplistic answer “When this gets aired out, I think you’ll feel better about it.â€Â  If only it were so easy;  a simple misunderstanding?  No.  Your husband needs to seek the help of God and of an expert who knows how to help a person through confessing their sin, going through a process of true repentance, cleaning out their pornography cache, getting a filter, etc., etc., and humbling themselves – truly – before his wife and an accountability partner! Long term! In closing, one person wrote the following in the comment section the following: While these writers seek to convince otherwise, porn use is cheating!  It betrays the bond of intimacy between a husband and a wife and it breaks the marriage vow by committing a form of adultery.  Don’t take my word for it.  This is what Jesus said on the subject:  “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.â€Â Matthew 5:28 This above person understands the immensity of the concern and what’s at stake! To express your concern to the writers: Steve and Mia: S&M@phillynews.com Or S&M c/o Daily News 400 N. Broad St., Philadelphia, PA 19130. “ Or to quickly comment: https://americandecency.org/take_action_form.php?msg_id=66 ====================================================== Our friends at Morality in Media (MIM) and Concerned Women for America (CWA) are bringing awareness to White Ribbon Against Pornography (WRAP) Week and have made available some helpful resources to help you educate others to this concern. Check out the links below: MIM: “Morality in Media provides many resources for WRAP at its www.moralityinmedia.org website (WRAP Campaign page). You can also call 212-870-3210, and we will send information in the U.S. mail.â€Â CWA: “To make your voice heard during Wrap Week, see the new CWA Wrap Week Fact Card available here. Making a white ribbon with a safety pin and attaching it to the card is a great way to make people aware and give them something they can wear for WRAP Week. Also, for those struggling with a porn addiction, there are free resources at www.PornHarms.com, www.purelifeministries.org and www.regenerationministries.org. Also, check out www.GirlsAgainstPorn.com. We urge churches to spread information about helpful resources to address this serious issue affecting many families.â€Â =================================== Thanks for standing with us: Donate online: https://secure4.afo.net/ada/donate.php American Decency Association P.O. Box 202 Fremont MI 49412 American Decency Association is a member of the Evangelical Council for Financial Accountability. ———————— A classic resource available as short supply lasts: “The Holiness of Godâ€Â by R.C. Sproul. To order your free copy, email bjohnson@americandecency.org Many of you took advantage of our offer regarding the book “The Pursuit of Holinessâ€Â by Jerry Bridges. This is what Jerry Bridges has to say about this book offer “Every Christian who is serious about his or her growth needs to read ‘The Holiness of God.’ I profited greatly from this book.â€Â American Decency Association Bill Johnson, President P.O. Box 202 Fremont, MI 49412 ph: 231-924-4050 http://www.twitter.com/billwjohnson

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