A few voices speak out powerfully. Pxxx addicts – and destroys

By: American Decency Staff

Pornography does destroy! Some of you have helped shed the light, to speak into the silence that surrounds the horror of pornography. A special, deep appreciation to those of you who have shared. What about you? Will you help others to see what pornography has done or is doing? Lastly, take a moment to respond to our poll. www.americandecency.org Email #1: Thank you for the reminder of this awareness week. [Pornography Awareness Week – October 25-November 1] I did not know! I personally got caught in the porno web while in the service.  It was ten years before I got my life back on track and the Lord released me from all the perversion that followed. Now that I am retired and full time with a prison ministry, I see first hand daily how utterly devastating this demon is to our youth.  I have personally met several young men who at 16 were incarcerated for sexual activity with a minor whose parents approved!  We are incarcerating more and more young men on these Sexual Offense charges. They are out there looking at the Internet, magazines, video, etc and then acting out without any clue that the laws are more and more rigid and unforgiving.  The public is out for blood while at the same time allowing and condoning sexual activity, condoms, pornography, abortion, revealing dress,  etc.  Such double-mindedness! In your addressing of this problem, the issue of our youth going to Juvenile Detention and into the state prisons needs to be aired and the devastating effect on getting an education, keeping employment, taxation, and state rehab resources.  We are having our pleasure at the expense of our children! Perhaps Charles Colson can give you some insider data and a more documented assessment. Thank you for your tireless work to protect the public and the church. R.T. Email #2 My sisters and their girls don't always dress immodestly but it seems when they dress up, they are ok with low cut dresses and short dresses and jeans that are low cut.  They are all Christians but it seems like this is acceptable in the church. Email #3 A few weeks into my marriage, I discovered I had been betrayed by the man I believed loved me.  Meaning would not lie to me, but be honest, and protect me.  I discovered he was a porn addict and would sneak around to watch it.  I was devastated and for a long time, I believed my self worth was the value he gave me when he watched the porn.  My first five years of marriage were hell.  He got counseling for his sin and I lived with PTSD due to prior  trauma, but his lie was the last my soul could take.  I attempted suicide and thought about it all the time, I damaged my liver taking the pills.  I lived in deep grief and disappointment.  I wanted a divorce, but was not healthy to make any big choices.  I stuck with this marriage because I felt an obligation to God, but even to this day, complete trust has not been restored as he has not made the right amends.  This is living hell.  Porn sells the lie of making better lovers, but contrary makes them poor lovers, husbands/wives, and friends.  Porn is a choice sin and it robs cheats, and steals, no doubt about that.  It's hard, but I still think about divorce, but our pastor told us a few months ago, I had no grounds for divorce, which I disagree because it is infidelity (I'd found inappropriate pictures in his work lap top).  I feel isolated living with a person who is half there for me.  It's been ten years of marriage, but I am not sure I can do ten more. All this to say he has changed, and done his initial work, but he has not had the accountability that was promised to me by him and our pastor.  If I had to do it all over again I would not only do a blood test before marriage, but I would ask, are you a porn user.  I would walk away and not look back.  Regret is a hard thing to live with.  I need a miracle. Email #4 Bill: I will share a story with you. My son was only in grade school at the time, but we were in front of Wal-Mart at the time passing out  fliers for our church, and a young woman was walking into the store in a strapless top and was bouncing all over the place and just out of pure reaction, I covered my son's eyes, cause I was afraid this woman would come out of her shirt. I guess it was kind of obvious, and I didn't mean for it to be, but  the look on my son's face, I reacted and she saw me and turned back to her car and put a shirt on and then came back and went  into the store. The people with me at the table kind of chuckled but were in agreement with me that people just don't think how they dress when they go out out in public and how it looks to others or how inappropriate it comes across, especially to young eyes. My husband and I are always holding the remote in our hands in order to change the channel when the TV is on to change commercials  during football games or because of shows like Desperate Housewives, and Courtney Cox's new program which I don't even know the name of it cause I never watch it but have sent notes asking it to be taken off the air. My son is 13 and very impressionable and the programming today is awful. Commercials are just as inappropriate. Thanks for your organization and your efforts. I am one of the few that is sending notes when I can. We home-school our son, I work part time so I can home-school and my husband works. So we are busy, but I do send notes when I can! Keep up the great work and I'll do what I can to continue to support you! Blessings, G. Email #5 I fear for and pray for my Pastor and Elders as they serve communion to those women on their knees at the alter with their breasts bared. What a view and distraction this must be for them.  LADIES:  DO NOT USE YOUR BODY TO ATTRACT ATTENTION !!!  You will get it in a way you don't want, and you will cause our poor men to stumble. Email #6 No, Bill, pornography is NOT victimless. It had it's evil clutches on my husband since he was 15 years old.  It all started with a seemingly innocent art/drawing book, that had a drawing of a nude woman.  That started the lusting and masturbation, which went on to include porn magazines, bra, underwear and lingerie ads in the Sunday newspaper, "R" and "unrated" movies rented from the video store, many hours on the internet searching for and finding porn, and even entering a friends home without his permission to "borrow" his stash of sleaze. During the first eight years of our marriage, I was unaware of my husband's struggle.  He was a Christian and grew up in a Christian home. He attended church and Bible studies.  I would NEVER have believed that he had this addiction.  I had no idea that my husband's lack of interest in making love to me was because of this addiction.  (He didn't need or want me…he had his airbrushed babes who were perfect in every way in his imaginations.)  Many nights I cried myself to sleep, wondering, what was wrong with me. When I learned of his addiction (I found it on my computer by accident), he told me everything, we went to counseling and he started to attend Sexaholics Anonymous.  Later I joined S-Anon, a support group for friends and family of sex addicts.  These groups helped tremendously.  My husband had tried to break himself of this many, many times, but it was only through the accountability of the group, along with Christian counseling and having it all exposed to the light that he has remained sober now for almost 6 years. Still, it is VERY difficult for him and for me to live in this very sexualized culture where nothing is sacred.  I have written letters to or spoken to store managers numerous times about waitresses with low-cut tops, exposed sex magazines in grocery stores and carry-outs, and advertisers that support smut on television.  I believe that as we speak out, the situations will improve.  Mine have. Thank you for your good work in alerting us to opportunities to stand strong for righteousness and modesty in this immoral culture. W.B. ======================== Pornography victimless? Is there one of you reading this who is willing to share with me your story that I can use to break the silence during this 2009 Pornography Awareness Week? Help give the warning! It WILL be kept anonymous. I have no doubt there are women (particularly) but not just women, whose mate is breaking ones heart because of playing with the fire of pornography – lusting, leering, hooked. I await your response. Pornography DOES victimize. ========================== For helpful resources: https://secure4.afo.net/ada/main.php?f=store/display ==================================== American Decency Association Bill Johnson, President P.O. Box 202 Fremont, MI 49412 ph: 231-924-4050 www.americandecency.org http://www.twitter.com/billwjohnson

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